Crucial Connections: Me, You and the Universe

There are three main pathways of connection that we all need to cultivate and nurture if we are to fully thrive as human beings. 

The first is our connection to ourselves, to our minds, our hearts, our bodies, and our deepest intuitive knowing and sense of meaning and purpose. 

The second is to others, the relationships we cultivate in our lives, because, in the words of poet, John Donne, ’No man is an island entire of itself’.  We all need a tribe, to feel that we belong and can both love and be loved.

The third is our connection to the cosmos and to nature, to the vibrant rhythms and multifaceted expressions of our universe which both reflect and nurture our own wellbeing.

In his book, ‘Lost Connections’, Johann Hari describes how the pandemic of anxiety and depression that has swept our world has many of its roots in lost connections - to ourselves, to our tribe, and to a sense of meaningful purpose in our lives. Drugs are not the answer - connection is.

Cultivating Connection through Gratitude and Compassion

As a healer, channel, soul mentor and teacher, the work I do with my clients and students reflects all of the connections I have named above. Since a big passion of mine is authentic self-expression, I love to support others to find that deep connection to self and nourish it every day through meditation, breath, voice, journaling and other simple practices. 

If you want to live a life that is truly aligned with your deepest desires, purpose and creativity, you have to light a candle to that every day. 

One simple daily practice could be offering gratitude for the blessings already present in your life, including your amazing physical body, your powerful, creative mind, and your wise, loving heart. I also recommend setting a simple, yet potent, daily intention to serve all of life through the highest expression of yourself. Then allow yourself to open and receive the delights that life wants to offer at your feet. This means surrendering into your own worthiness to receive life’s bounty, simply for being the unique expression of life that you are. 

If this is hard for you to do, another practice I love to share is that of self-directed compassion. When we struggle to feel gratitude for ourselves and to feel worthy of our own love, let alone that of others, there are often wounded aspects of ourselves that first need to be met with compassion. When we open our arms and hearts to these tormented aspects of self, letting them know that we understand their experiences and feelings, their resistance melts away in the light of our loving presence and compassion. Then they can be reintegrated into our hearts and we can open to receive the blessings available to us. 

Offer Connection, not Projection

This work is also so powerful to help heal any issues with relationships and feeling seen and heard as our authentic selves by others. If we have wounded aspects of self that are in the driver’s seat of our lives, chances are they will attract others that mirror that wounding in some way. This leads to relationships that are based on connection from woundedness, rather than wholeness, leading to codependence and conflict. 

When we are deeply connected to ourselves and have taken time to heal our own wounded inner child, we no longer need to project our own frustrations and disappointments onto others. This allows more empowered and loving connections to be made,  based on mutual respect, self-awareness and an acknowledgement of both diversity and unity - we are One, and yet we are all different, unique expressions of the One. When we can love and honour our own uniqueness, we can honour and love that in others and let go of any need to make them change who they are to please us. 

Connect to the Rhythm of the Planet

Finally, all of us as humans walking this physical path on Earth, need to cultivate our connection to this planet and to the universe in which she floats. Our modern lives, with blue-lit screens blaring into our consciousness at all hours of the day, are often disconnected from the daily rhythms of the planets - the movements of sun, moon and stars that were so profoundly significant for our ancestors. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, and we can be the best of both spirit and matter when we tap back into the rhythms of the cosmos. 

I have recently added into my mentoring and teaching work a focus on getting up at sunrise, starting the day with breath, movement and meditation, then following the natural energetic arc of the day in terms of eating and sleeping. This means eating a larger meal in the middle of the day, when the sun’s heat and our corresponding digestive fire are high, and having only a light meal early in the evening, followed by an early night. Replacing technological distractions with nourishing self-care practices -  like self-massage and meditation -  promotes deep, restful sleep and gives our bodies time to purify toxins overnight, so that we wake feeling clear and bright.

This kind of yogic lifestyle might sound boring to some, but I invite you to try it for a week or so and notice the results in your energy, focus and overall wellbeing. Our bodies and brains were not designed for the toxic, overburdened lifestyles so many of us are living now, and we are paying the price in terms of our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. 

When you make small changes to bring yourself back into alignment with the natural rhythms of the planet and connect with the elemental forces of nature, your body will thank you for it and provide a strong foundation for you to build all the other connections you desire in you life: meaningful work, thriving relationships, supportive environments and a strong sense of self, plus of course, a deep sense of pride in being the highest expression of yourself that you can be. 

So I invite you to reflect on these three types of connections - to yourself, to others and to the cosmos - and take one small step today to nurture and deepen at least one of those connections. 

Whether it’s taking a moment to breathe into your heart when you wake up in the morning, walking along the beach at sunrise, or reaching out to a friend or family member, I know that your life will be all the richer for it. 

Savour the extraordinary web of life of which you are a part, and know that as you do, you weave an even stronger connection for all beings on this wonderful planet.